temp temp temp//

have you enough courage
to get up from your comfy ersatz laurels






and fight for the truth, the whole truth

and nothing

but the truth ?




(or do i have to do it myself?)

i'll never wear a skirt again. you won't believe what happened the other day.

haha!! i forgot i was wearing it :X it's so blardy short i couldn't wear fbts underneath so i err hah. XD

oh don't wear blue shirts or pants against neoprint machines. :) it's the background thing i say.!

oh i think shuting is damn chio XD NOT *shuting laughs* ooh that video is nice!!

a highly erratic entry, my dear watson. i miss you shaway! :D seeya on friday! FIFA 2006!!!!!! beats olympics by far.

forget it. ping will slaughter me. *Does ceo handshake*

i feel damn guilty la!! something over the weekend changed my life forever. :) in a good way. i feel so terrible haha wo cuo guai le ta... ok ok ncos wanna have lunch with us soon :P 1sgt jiahui is so farnie! "partb... let's enjoy the breeze..." XD

heehee i'm so spastically happy. and aaaaaah i give up i'm not even looking at what i'm writing... trying to concentrate on ulead... poots.

eh heh heh
been mulling over so many things for the past week. so many thoughts running through my head it seems like i stuck it in the washing machine or sth. mother's day blues. i guess there really isn't much else to say anymore right... except... sorry? we got so many people into trouble and i can feel the weight of the school's wrath upon us :/ well.. here are for the apologies... part personal and part on behalf of the batch...
school...don't really blame them if they lose trust in us from here on. it really wasn't their fault, and we had such strong support i just dont' wanna lose that but i guess what happened is our faultand we have to face e consequences. sorry... sorry for letting you lose your trust in us. n e sec4s... i think we really have to compensate here... we let them handle so much of our own work its deplorable... and i'm really sorry... i dunno what else to say... except that i know we disappointed you guys so so much... i know you had high hopes and stuff. but we totally messed up everything. i can't believe they still support us n all i mean there's only so much one can tolerate.

and on sunday night i felt like i couldn't ever trust my batch ever again... i dunno why i felt that way but it was as if they oculd never put trust in me either... so... maybe it was easier then to mull over the thought that's been at e back of my mind - dropping pb? i can see how much has changed in my life since i joined this year. i realize i've been distancing SO MUCH from my old friends. and its quite sad to see them do stuff without me n when i actualy do get to talk to them i haven't the slightest idea what they're talking abt. i suppose i've gotten closer to people like lamein n shooting and stuff but really. the workload really been breaking me. and i can see myself cracking n i haven't exactly been doing well in class. n i guess pressure from all sides has been telling me to quit pb. well actually, ballet or pb. and i thought. which is more impt to me. i know most of you don't know how much ballet means to me n some are even appalled at e fact that i do take ballet (haha amanda) but well i've been doing it since i was. what, 5? and not that pb is not impt to me but you must understand at that night i felt so hopeless about our batch i just thought heck. so... i felt like throwing myself against the wall in anger/frustration. yar so i just stood at e comp and typed n typed. thank you jerm for being a latenighter with me! :) i could have died that night without company you know XD at times like this... thanks for telling me e truth n not just what i wanted to hear.

thank you joey n joopok... so much... for last week. when joey opened up her house should i have wanted to run there. n joopok for just being so encouraging. think it was a pretty tough time for the lot of us... pressure from parents especially and i really don't blame my mum for just breaking that nihgt. she literally snapped n i was so mad i din't even talk to her till later.. i feel so horrible :X how could i have been such a bad daughter man.

OH! and i wanna thank neuza for unknowingly cheering me up. he/she's this person.. from portugal whom i accidentally added to my contact list. we had some serious probs communicating man. she/he was like "do you like mew?" so i said "oh ya sure its so cute!" "sure is... they play so well" "har? you talking abt e pokemon right?"

"no no MEW is a dutch symphonic band."

-__________-" maluated. but you know what i think she/he was godsent. unknowingly innocently brought me back to earth. XD thank you neuza, whoever you are.

yar. so... sorry again... for being so detached. and fiel you must know that when i came back to sch on tues i realized how unfair i was on sund night and how wrong i was to blame everybody else except me for all our probs. maybe i just wanted to protect shooting. or maybe i was trying to protect myself. i must do more for fiel. i must remedy all my mistakes. argh. and i'll think about my decision for as long as i can until i'm really really sure. k? i dont wanna regret anything i do. so... please give me time... >_____<"

actually mam talked to me abt this too. i hope i din't appear to cryey or too stoned. but she was actually very nice abt it... she said give myself a deadline on what i want ter do. wonder what my pltnmates said abt me :X i can guess... it's the truth. sometimes they can sense stuff so fast you dont' have to tell them anything for them to know. that's why i love them so much. :) 800 more pumpings to go.

clay looks so studious in glasses XD hee hee and he sings differently now. more... confident somehow. :D of course he still rocks la!!! :P

it's 1:49am on a schoolday and nothing is funny any more.

i don't know what happened to my sense of urgency or my priorities or whatever.

priorities. herh.

so much happened tonight none of which was very pleasant. fiel you may not know what's happening now but maybe you will soon enough. we shall just have to wait and see what my mum's next move happens to be. and i can tell you this doesn't look good.

i might just have to give up the source of the most part of my happiness thus far.


please please don't make me drop from e board please

please Lord please -

aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dunno why my moodswings have been so horrible lately. :D :) :I :( :'( >:( <------all this happens in ONE day sometimes less than 5 hours. yar 1 emotion per hour :P haha!! i can feel like i'm dying one second and tehn the next feel like there's so much more to life i have yet to tackle so why kick the bucket now. comp studs. mrteo haven't come yet lar 1st time he's late actually. quite pity him cuz our class doesn't really respect him. yar. can hear jk's voice now. so much to talk about just want to vent!!! VENT!!!!!!!!! but nobody to vent to :P and blogging is unsafe! :P

ahahaha hello shooting! *waves*
shuting is worried abt ge. not funny.. stop laughing ge ong.

i'm not really a morbid sadistic person like grace (and her bloody swords and stuff) so its really wierd for me to be laughin liike this when i really feel rotten inside. cuz i tend to show what i really feel! :D yar. so it's very wierd.

and gayle's birthday was sunday! :P 2 days ago. jiaying also ^^ happy birthday may all your wishes comeeee trueeeeeeee

you know what? we have 6000 pumpings ahead of us will probably take up the next 2 months and into e june holidays. my pltnmates dun come to my blog. i dun want them to see... stuff. i dunno seems to me like when i really need them most they all start arguing among themselves about silly things and blame each other and get all irritated it's so hard to talk to them any more. since we lost our ncos anyway. it's beyond sad. pltn is in a sad state. how to pump together like this?! when there isn't even any support anymore. 1sgt vanessa said that we are very individualized i think it's true but what's beeen pounding is that alot of that is my fault. simply because of my commitments and the way i order them. like i dun put in enough effort out of trng even though i try very hard to keep up during sat trngs. i dunno my pltnmates seem very irriated with me as well but i guess it's not really their fault la. :) at least during lessons i'm supposed to have somethign else to think about but it realy hits me when i'm alone then i get to think about alot of things that i havent' solved and probably won't be able to solve for a long time

YESSSSSSSS@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) comp studs favourite word. everybody wants to just get over the lesson so they can concentrate on their fanfics or blogging or blogsurfing or whatever ;) so everythign we also understand :P

haha!! hello shuting!! *who is staring at the screen* she is silent

so i shall be too :X

oh the room's gonna be closed for 2 weeks yar another punishment why is my life full of punishments?

1. 6000 pumpings
2. no ora day
3. no room

but you know? i deserve every single one of those punisments

shuting: one thing that i want to say.. room closing is not exactly a punishment. It's a lesson, some form of reminder that we should brush up on our standards.. not exactly a bad thing. I mean.. it's a lesson learnt, but it will give us ample time to interact with our class in the mornings to come..

isnt' that waht a punishment is? for a lesson to be learnt the hard way simply because the lot of us were too hardheaded to get the hint and turn around earlier. it's not meant to be a bad thing just memorable bittersweet and a REMINDER. yar. so that's a punisment isn't it?

anyway. looks like the remainder of my term won't be so cheery for me. maybe i should just go join pat in her suicidal wake :) i dunno?>! ARGHH ARHGGGGGGG <-------- 7 GES :P ^^

harhar i want this entry to last as long as the compstuds lesson but hell got nothing much really to say that won't be countered up here.

so.

something i will never forget.

fwah, thank you for 20042004. thank you. thank you. fiel wouldn't have wanted it ANY OTHER WAY.
fiel, everything i wanted to say is in that letter. i can't believe i'm a part of this special family. i don't know how else to say it.



...unforgettable.

yesterday was AAAAAAGHHH!!!!

so school finally ended ya. so me n lamein went off to the room to meet seet - tabletennis finals!!! AND GUESS WHATTT THE BUS LEFT AN HOUR AGO!!!!

frantically went to g.o. to confirm.

frantically calling janelle.

frantically running around and about the room screaming OH NO OH NO!!!

frantically piling into the taxi.

frantically REACHING THE WRONG COMPOUND

CHUNG CHENG -MAIN- not CHUNG CHENG BRANCH!!!!! *knocks head*

then.

THEN.

our saviour!

this nice nice lady called dawn ya. she fetched us to the place!!!! aaahhh!!!

should have seen janelle's face when we finally reached man.
almost collapsed all over her, but the match was to riveting.


and seet! you da mannn :)
4 of us had to cheer unite. ALONE. aaahhhh... we inexperienced noe.

so we were like "standplease..." and a few people note A FEW stood up,
ableit reluctantly.

seet went.

raffles stand.

[no response!!!! XD]

RAFFLES STAND!!!!!!!!!!!


wah seet you rock. the entire rafflesian congregation



...STOOD.

XD XD

so we did a haphazard rendition (but quite good considering it's 1. only 4 of us 2. only sec2s)

yes. so went home.

WHAT a day :)

"Jesus will you get that for me? "



class today totally rawked. haha. our we are dead joke was DABOMB!!! hahah... too bad mrs yap caught us out :( but she was really cool about it :) i was totally freaked when i saw the blue light n the cloth kayy... after all that hype about 10 courts of hell also... >___< freakums freakums.

anyway. we shall try that again soon, ne? :P

haha. so funny/embarrassing. housecommsleepover! :D i slept at 4am k. haahh XD

well sportsfest rocked. yea though we din't really perform amazingly this year i think i shan't repeat what vaneh said about the magical moments. i shall just nod and agree. n the sec1s were impressive. they cheered really well! :P oh but i tell you arh. i had to ask this partA what class she was in [attendance taking] and she answered me like what lah. haha. i know she recognizes me cuz i called her "partA". -______- what the ncos said about informal huh. was excused from guard duty so everytime i had to go down to e ground level i had alot of greetings to issue XP din't see any pltnmates doing duty tho?! well congrats to all the 16x50 relayers you guys rocked. n telematchers elly n espesh you jerm(haha had alot to say har) you guys were HONEST!! ^^ sec1s i already said you were great. classmates. i have yet to get backfor all the water poured down my back!!!! :@ haaaaa!!!!!!

housedinner was da bomb. sec1s really made laufun cry ya. hah i guess if i were in such close contact with the fivers n tenners i would have cried too. but as the situation was, i had trng every wk so no hseprac for me. :(

sleepover was... insane? i dunno :P me n meiting had a big argument over joey. hahaa XD the surprise went... relatively well, i thought. it was... crazy. n HAI the floor. i really dunno what to do but if anything i will take responsibility ya? n candice's hometheatresystem was... there's no other word for it... WHOA. yep was really tiring so din't go for constance's bdae celeb. :( n i have a really really bad bad BAD sorethroat now. gah.

but anyway. we promise next year banner will do richard proud. i'm soryr for not being so dedicated this year. but. next year i promise this changes. yea. i'll be a good cad. mrhmrmmm.

...shooting i'm not spoiling your rep. YOU'RE SPOILING MINE!!! XD
...jaykay haha we just brought you in cuz you were sitting behind us it was overwhelmingly convenient.
...pat i love you too! enjoy the poo! :P
...jerm i'll watch my back from tomorrow onwards. no actually i'll watch my butt.
...rach yea i'll echo you! happy fundraising to all fielers!!! and watch it i'm your new tempco-ord XD let's see how badly things go under me oO

conversation on excel worksheet during comm studs. for your enjoyment. highlighted are the notable parts

ge grand total = 100 % !!!! YAYAYAYAYAY!!!!! :D
st ge is a huge lamo
ge thanks a lot, man, shuting the stone rock whatever
st no prob.. Anytime, you *ahemahem* self-procalimed genius
ge ge is always righteous. Therefore, anything self proclaimed is thus far proved correct.
st any takers? *Waits..* see no1 believes u
ge they are all in awe, can't you see?! :@
st ahh.. No I cant see..
st sad
ge blur pok and since you took two rows
ge …so shall I :) (cheaterbuggg)
st whee ge cant spell either.. And err her famous :() ??!!
st nmuahahahaha
ge that's a STUNNED smiley face
ge like this
gej :()()()()()
st that's a satay
ge no! cockroach egg :) they'll hatch n devour your very skin XD XD XD
ge *evil laugh*
st like the time u walked around bare-footed after banner painting?
ge aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! *Runs away screaming*
st they drill thru ur soles
st n walk around ur heart
st n stroll in ur lungs
st muahaha
ge AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
st muahahahah. Don worry.. U can ask ur mum to *ahem* pick the worms out
ge …of my butt crack? XD
st w00t.. Bingo
ge SHUTING YOU DARE BULLY ME!!!!!
ge I shall throw my point shoes at YOUUUU do you know how HARD they are XD XD XD
st yarr.. Ur poor bleeding feet
st for a moment u thought u were going to say u gonna tell ray
ge wait. I'll do that too. *notes down on notebook*
ge oh not to mention my shoes are STINKO XD
ge drenched with blood n sweat n tears (yes tears) n the chemical thingy they use to harden the wood
st first thing… u don haf a notebk with u'
st 2nd. U hafnt taken it out
st 3rd.. U don haf ur shoes with u
st duh they stink.. U wore them wat… not like my shoes ><
st I know. Your shoes are
ge deplorable. I can smell them from here *constipated face*
st haha you're smelling urself
st I AM A STUPID POKKKKKKKKKKKK n I heroworship geneve ong
st yar yar.. I am the Princess of all Kingdoms muahahahah
st geneve ong? What form of creature is that…
st ge = geneve gee = geneve gegelala = geneve gene = geneve blurqueen = geneve pig =geneve
ge GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR you hog so many columns for what arH?? :@
ge I dun fren u Nemorr (n im spelin lyk u XD)
st wart yoo touking? Shuting e grate don untorsdant
ge SHUTING E -GRATE-!!! As in the one… you know.. Covering the drainpipes
st wooottt geenevie ong yoo dun kniw yooor englesh
ge it's EENG-GU-RISH yoo tut
st oowhieee yoo peggo call moi a tutu.. Gonna keeel yoo
ge tutu?! You where got that fluffy n pretty?? Ge-pi ah
st shooting vaily vaily preeeeeetyyy vat.. Yoo dun tok ne no-sense
ge come ON larrr… only jk would think you're pretty
st that's coos she has goood taste
st pooh
ge *looks at jk* YAR RITE.
ge jk good taste?!! Kelly?! JOSEPH TOH??!!!!!! N karen tay of course
st karen rawwwkss!! Mr toh arh.. Okay.. Of course her taste improved significantly after she met moi e grate
ge MY FOOT. Wo3 wu2 hua4 ke3 shuooooooo1 *rolls eyes*
ge as if you have any better taste.
st your foot is speechless? Woww… didn’t know it cld talk in the first place…
st yaryar I don haf any taste.. That's why smtimes I even think ge is wunnerful =p
ge of course you do. After all you have one of the most
ge riveting
ge accurate
ge tasteful
ge tastes in the entire world :)
st err actually 60% of the time I sincerely believe that u are a tulip head
ge at least tulip n not black head
st haha whitehead n blackhead
st tons of black head
ge this conversation is screwed. I think shuting got sarmting wrong
ge *knocks shuting's head*
ge …sounds hollow.
st whatttt you think im a coconut head??!!
st cannot anyhow know lahh.. You knocked that part which was my air storage room.. Tweeet
ge I din't know brains have air storage rooms
ge think your whole body runs on air ah?
st my brain so big.. Lungs alone cant support wat..
st not like urs.. Nose straight away connect to brain
ge yar
ge your brain so big
ge no wonder your eyes bulge out
st haha cos my eyes are worm-infested
st woooo I see things crawwwling

(at this point, we are disrupted by an enormous disruption.)

i bet a 1000 bucks you'd die on e spot.





or have a right headache at the very least.


i feel terrible. i wish saturday had never happened. it just makes me dread and dread and dread even more the end of this month. it's only one night n i'm thankful for that. but other than that, i dunno how i'm gonna take it. i still remember last year. i went home and hugged my pillow hard n cried.

oh no
oh no

shitshitshitshit

at night we just cried n cried n cried

jy n i wanted to escape to shangrila


it was like hell. i collapsed into e room to take my sl interview. then unwillingly went back to camp.
it was shit like the ncos said it would be.




didn't help much that they remarked this year would be worse.
partbs, after all

got my pointes today. bloch seranades :)

yay. finally. shall go sew on e ribbons now.

ARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want to scream and scream and scream and scream at my own stupidity and ignorance and thick skin. ROTTTTTTTTEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN why am i ALWAYS ALWAY LIKE THAT?????? ok so now they're angry. yesh. i dun blame them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i'm sorry sorry sorry sorryy

guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

...yes i know. it's me isn't it? SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
we
don't
say
sorry
in
ncc



but
i
really
want
to


i need to
to have peace of mind tonight.

yea.
so
sorry :'(

i disappointed you.


AAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
0srehut W"pU58RI425aiklfc
bang on e keyboard

aoewjrfo (bang)
iokjnio (bang)
;'.ujlikjhio (bang)


oh and joey, happy birthday. i'll call you later

how to get rid of zestyfind??!!

it's irritating the shit out of me. (now i go wash my mouth with soap XD)

"if she's really your friend she would understand."
it's not as easy as it looks. being given the ability to put someone else in trouble isn't easy. rather than having to exercise self-control in the case of us it's more like being able to exercise your power when its needed. it's kinda like if you gave somebody a gun and if you did something wrong they could shoot you. wouldn't you naturally try not to get too close to her? it's inevitable. although we have a choice, it's tough on us. the choice is made by what you value most, and what cons you believe are merely assumptions and aren't true. i guess it's a matter of duty vs personal life. and when you accept the role of a PIT you agree to take one path - the obligation to do your duty and lots and lots of sacrifice. With every direction you choose you get the pros and cons.
friendships.

other commitments.

free time.

hannah - i know i shouldn't be saying sorry for what happened yesterday. but i'm sorry it had to be me n wenny. i'm sorry we had to be there. i know it's not our fault and on your part it was probably an accident as well, but thank you for being so understanding. it just makes our job easier - thank you for being so fair about it. (i seriously think you would do my job better than i do) i guess its through experience that you learn - in both ways. 1. you've been in our position before - i guess that's why you kinda understand our situation 2. don't do it again k? :) can't make you promise (we can't see the future) but do make a conscious effort. espesh with your fone ok? (take a leaf out of my book. don't turn on your fone in sch XD) another thing - shouldn't feel so terrible about it. i know that's pretty difficult since we've never been put in this kind of serious situation together before - it probably would have been different should the pit/prefect have been somebody else. it's the personal relation thing again. don't feel so bad, as i've said already it's a learning experience and don't feel as if you've let us down. because you haven't. don't feel as if you condemned us to do something terrible either - it's a course of duty, and no matter what we still fulfill it. it's our obligation that we learn to handle such situations, certainly that does not fall on the part o the offender. so me n wenny are asking you to -

forget about it for now, but take it as a lesson learnt.


lastly, and most most most importantly:

you know we still love you
(and always will! no matter what!)

please don't let this build a wall between you and the 2 of us okay? cuz the way i see it, nothing has changed.






oh and yea - the extraterrestrials who stole your ge-jie come from planet klgjealh. (now you know.)

gep 20 thing yesterday. hmm. was quite fun lah... but the walking was abit 'herh'? and i got there abit der late only lar. ^^ joey called me and said ge do you remember what day this is? when i was having breakfast. apparently my consent form said 9 oclock instead of 8.30 so everyone was there earlier than me -.-

yep. saw everyone again. :D went to watch a little busking. the nygh dancers did greased lightning!! really brought back memories. hahaa 6jians remember? (do you WANT to remember? XD) well. it was good. the chorus had nearly the same actions as us. ooh the rg performances - viff wing xinyi and yihwee were playing the violin ;) heard they earned quite abit :) yea and 414's testtubes thing was so cute!! amy let me n runting try but i couldn't get any sound out -________- and sandra is woarh man :) her wushu thing was so cool!! haha^^ we took alot of pics. yep of ex6jians. kudos to runting for putting up with us!!! and being our camera(wo)man :P love you runting! -hug- there was these 2 pics we posed while one the escalator. shaway upload it soon k? had lunch with tian, ahmok, dawn, shaway, faris, cpn n runting :) at bk. where we met this really nice person. when shaway spilt her coke (haha shaway so youuu) she gave her another cup. free. so nice!!! yarharhar. and more crazy pics ("let's be creative!!!" - shaway -.-)

then the rest went home so runting n i walked another round :) tried to find bonkie (was she busking?) but din't see her. haha but saw yingsze. had the honours of being the 1st people to fill her tin XD ...with 15 cents haha. then alot of people gave us stickers for freee so it looked as if we donated alot. then this poor guy tried to sell us anderson's of denmark charity tickets. but we were both so broke... and he kept using the PIT thing to make us feel guilty :( like. prefects lead by example!! (whoa sounds like someone XD) so set a good example by helping charity!! dotdot. hai. runting had this constipated face throughout :/ yea but i felt really bad. cuz i really dint' have the money so had to turn him down. haiyoh. snot the 1st time we were harassed cuz of our badges. that time at the mrt station... (viff you remember?) i just think it isn't right to target people that way. it just makes the person feel worse if they can't buy one right. like it's an obligation to buy one because you need to set a good example. hmm. can't figure it out oO but i don't think it's right. :( anyway me n runting both didn't want to go home. and we talked alot about batch stuff. yea just stuff that's been happening. then i went home :( end of story XD

patsy - it's turn around not falling down!! :( haha. very different meanings you know :) anyway... whatever it is stay strong. you'll get through this hokay...?

dee - haha... i'm gonna change my template soon. i promise you it'll be BLOO!!! :D yep and the 2nd yellow page thing rocks. hoho. in the meantime everybody...

RICHARD IS GONNA ROCK SPORTS FEST!!!

it's viff's birthday today.

happy birthday viffy!!!!! have a GREAT one.

it's huishan's birthday today.

happy birthday huishan!!!!! you have a great one too ;)

it's aisha's birthday today.

happy birthday aisha!!!!! haha i'm SO SORRY!!! i saw you in the bus and said hi but guess what??? i forgot to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :'(


happy birthday everyone. and may the world be a brighter place for you all.

i shall now reply all my tags. XD kind of recovered from that bout of i dunno explosiveness down there *looks down*

natty: hey there girl. still pissed at me? XD haha.
viff: heyy!!! tagged already! :) happy birthday okae?
jk: yea we can learn the guitar together! XD but i've got a headstart. done 4 chords already :D
xinning: sorry :( felt like i really let you down last sat. I REALLY WANTED TO GO!!! good luck with gabriel/trevor though ;)
chara: haha. the stars dun come out anymore :( that template really got alot of probs XD
sine: i love you!!! i think you're the only person in the world who thinks i'm sweet. AND calls me ge-jie^^ if you read it like hypy it'll be brother-sister XD cool your uncle had a band??!!
litz: i miss the musical too!! (n i miss you lah) XD wrappin' wrappin' wrappin'... underneath yer wrappin' wrappin' wrappin' wrappin'... a MIRACLE is happnin'!!! haha
rice: i know where the jam is too!!! hahhah!!! remember to bring your jam (the traffic one) to hsecomm slpover okay??
pat: yaha you -cute- person you. *hug* i love you too :) hang in there okay?
jermie: hahah okay you have a prowess to SOME extent XD you really miss us?? :P we miss you too!!! -hug- will play you a song in like two centuries... :(
joey: oh no... your poor egg... :( i haven't started you know? haha. hahah. dun bully your sis n make her paint it arh!! XD whooooo suzanna talked to me!!!! *fans self*
sinw(haha): jia you!! good luck with the rest of your ework :P
joo: the -mystery- on the 2nd yellow page!! hah. fielin' (not very) happie lah. but hey. :) it'll do for now. ILL OVEY OWW!!! <--- our secret language. no you can't know what it means XD

there :) all done. now i can go back to what i'm -supposed- to do haah.

hah.

screw it!!! :(
geog came in today. sigh. more work.

i'm feeling upset with myself tonight. been thinking over the past term n i realize how much of a failure i've been. my grades have been taking a terrific nosedive, for one. two. i promised to improve my chinese and look. haha. fail here fail there. math too. it's not sensible. three. quite obvious enough. i haven't been putting in my all for the board. it's not funny you know. i know my dc hasn't exactly been topnotch either. i mean, who the hell sleeps in class?? been hearing alot of comments about that n i dun blame you, all of you. it's my own fault most of the time isn't it? okay all the time. guess it's called facing the music. what kind of pit sleeps in class??!!! not just spaceout sleep. like close your eyes and dose of kind of sleep. sickening. maybe i should bring matchsticks to class and use them to prop my eyelids open. doesn't help that i sit IN FRONT for goodness sake. then (four) there's not being a good friend. how many people have come to me over the past few weeks and just unknowingly poured all their probs on me? and what have i done to help tthem? know some people don't trust me as much as they used to anymore. i'm sorry. i'm sorry it had to be that way, but you know, it's my fault. it's my own bloody fault for goodness sake. five. richardson. quite obvious isn't it. i haven't gone down for even ONE bannrpainting session haahahah!!! what sort of cad am i man. seeing shuting n viff n xinlei n all being so active in their comms. running arnd doing -hse stuff- and here i am sitting on my bum rotting away. hur hur. so productive. five. then there's me crying all over the place. yea in the canteen. at laguna. in class. practically everywhere huh? then i expect people to come running to comfort me. selfish. selfish bitch i am. hahaah. i dun even care bout their probs. hahahahaha. i dun deserve all the posts i've been given man. pit cad capper i'd rather be a nothing. nothing nothing. then there will be no expectations and no disappointment!! :D i'd be so happy!!!!

selfishselfish loser. i dun even care about my mum??!! she's been so worried about lots of things lately n what have i done for her? NOTHING!!! yea nothing. not even a hug. as if that would be enough anyway. haha. what kind of daughter am i man. only cares bout herself. and keeps snapping snapping snapping at her mum.

i'm not usually like this. HAHA. not last year, or the year before last, or the year before that one anyway.
where did i learn to become such a horrible loser?


maybe it was in me the whole time.